how i would love to have some form of crystal ball,or just someway or somehow be able to look at the future even if its just a quick glance. do you think that would change the desicions that im making now? would that help me out,or just make things far more worse? i dont want to grow up always thinking “what if” i just hope that everything im planning on doing is right for me…
i’ve been sitting around all day thinking about this last year of highschool..wow,its really happening,im really going to be done with school…forever! oddly enough,im not sad at all. im more excited then anything! i have the highest hopes that im going to be able to do everything i want. making it through this final year is the number one goal on my checklist and once its finished im gunna turn the page in my book of life and start writing.
on another note,my boyfriend left on monday afternoon…i cant believe he really drove the ten hour journey up here just to see me for a couple days. hes truly amazing. ive always had those boyfriends where you talk about growin’ old and living together and doing all those sorts of plans,but when i lay with him and talk about the future we want to have together….it feels so real,like it really could happen,and i love that. i just want to be able to wake up to his cute face and cook him breakfast and just have an adventure everyday of my life…i just want him next to me throughout it.
some part of me knew that this was going to happen, maybe not the first or second day, but definitely way sooner than you probably knew. i had this weird feeling everytime we were together,every time you randomly texted me throughout the day. i knew i was going to at least want to be with you one of these days, never knew forsure if it would happen…but i have to admit i at least hoped you had something there for me too. i didnt think after that weekend you’d even come around anymore,but everyday you came to see me. ive never been…afraid. ive never beeen,nervous…or i guess goofy. ive never tripped all over my words or babbled on for hours like i do when im around you…but i love that feeling, its so different,and i guess i can say your so different,at least from anyone else ive ever met. everything feels so new to me,im not sure what will happen,but im excited to find out. ive always said that im clumsy….but this time i didnt trip,im actually falling. one thing i know forsure…i love you.
writing down my thoughts,opinions,problems,and/or anything about my day is usually something i dont do for random people to read…or should i say, anyone to read. i dont like to be critisized,which i should probably learn how to be, but its just because i always like to have things ‘my way’ or i just enjoy being right. on the other hand, it might be nice writing down everything i feel for a change, instead of just daydreaming and wondering my life away. well thank you alanayyyy for having me create this wonderful tumblr…lets see where this goes,shall we?
